people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
do herpes really smell.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
