i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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