They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
