It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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