That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
