i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
