Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
