I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
