dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
