There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
