You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
