I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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