i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
it glows. i had to have it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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