All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She's the barista slut.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
