You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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