eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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