I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
