Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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