I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
