speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
