At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
