your thong is hanging out like whoa
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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