no you cant smoke seaweed
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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