ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
