Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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