Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
