I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
