A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
