I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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