why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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