anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
