Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
