1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
