I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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