Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
