let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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