Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
