On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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