you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
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masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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