Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
