did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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