Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
