You're completely useless in the revolution.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
