i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize