And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
