stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
