Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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