She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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