jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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