making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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