No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
