my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize