: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize