My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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