on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
