The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
