why didn't you poke me back
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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