I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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