ADVERTISEMENT

• (424): View more from California

  It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.

  Fav 2 1110 1398

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  b/c u have herpes

  (310): View more from California

  No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.

  Fav 19 1359 5889

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (315): View more from New York

  The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months

  Fav 27 3436 804

  share tweet
  

• (636): View more from Missouri

  they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??

  Fav 21 1574 5032

  share tweet
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.

  Fav 12 5499 1308

  share tweet
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.

  Fav 36 2086 5225

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dave a horae rider a coqw boy

  Fav 11 4380 1341

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.

  Fav 5 2226 1169

  share tweet
  

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.

  Fav 10 1446 2542

  share tweet
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.

  Fav 3 2426 915

  share tweet
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.

  Fav 17 3425 966

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (773): View more from Illinois

  You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.

  Fav 6 1910 605

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?

  Fav 1 649 545

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live

  Fav 2 114 20

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.

  Fav 0 22 17

  share tweet
  

Randomize