positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize